Finished Tongue-Fu by Sam Horn - a book I added to my list because it was highly recommended by so many sources - even a glowing review by Tony Robbins himself. Here’s a quote from Library Journal:
“According to professional speaker and consultant Horn, the purpose of Tongue Fu, a spoken form of self-defense, is to guard against psychological attacks. Dealing with difficult people is a part of everyday life. However, by focusing on real-life responses to verbal challenges instead of theories and platitudes, the author has delivered a convenient handbook for the mental martial art of verbal self-protection. Divided into four sections, the book offers techniques and skills for responding thoughtfully in conflicts, expressing honest feelings and goals, seeking cooperation in difficult situations, and living a life of value during trying times. “
I wasn’t really impressed. 95% of the book is basically to avoid confrontations at any cost - heavy use of the phrase “Is this conflict worth risking a friendship/your health/your well being/your life over? In other words, give up and take your lumps. The few pages that advise standing up for yourself tell you either to
a) Tell them you won’t take this (and assume this is going to work)
b) Refer you to another book for handling sociopaths
I kept at it in the hopes that it would get better, but it never did. Live and learn.
I suppose this book might be helpful for someone with absolutely no social skills, or no experience in asserting yourself - or maybe people who fly off the handle at every confrontation. And I see where Tony’s bit comes in - she advises some specific language to make mild conflicts easier and that kind of jibes with his NLP stuff. But if you’re a regular person who gets along with most people and has some degree of tact in communications, your money could be spent better elsewhere.
